Letters from Leclerc

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Recently, during renovation work on Café René, a metal box was discovered in a secret hiding place. Inside were a flying helmet, the dried remains of a bunch of wet celery and a bundle of letters. The letters appeared to have been written by that master forger and parrot salesman, the famous Monsieur Leclerc.

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The first letter is below:

 

'Allo 'Allo  Diary

 Sunday 4th December 2004                 I shall say this only once!

First rehearsal for “Allo Allo” or AA as it will now be known, as that’s where we will prob end up come March 6th, and not a cravat in sight! Not once was I kissed on both cheeks and nobody offered to “do lunch”, come on, is this Amateur Dramatics or what? 

I will give you a brief synop sinop senop round up of the story so far. Auditions were held a few weeks back at Balvonie House, the wooden hut wing, where Attic Player faithfuls and some welcome new blood turned up in their droves, some just walked or took the car. Lana Lord (correct spelling optional) outlined her plans, cackled menacingly and then put us at ease doing a gentle read through of the various parts. After sifting through the best Christmas party invites, she and her able Stage Manager Pat Brennan picked the parts and “first read through” followed on the 21st December.

So far the casting hasn’t changed, but who knows what the future brings?   

Back to today…rehearsals cracked on at 2.09Pm, luckily the rest of the cast appeared at 2.30 and the room warmed up nicely. It was stated that the lighting would be key to AA as we are working in a tight environment, without the extravagance of full sets other than the first class genuine café setting of the Seaview Café. As the action also takes place in a cinema, a bedroom and some Gestapoesque offices, the lighting will be the main indication of scene and mood changes. 

We ran through scenes one to five which included, in no particular order, Bill Wrights excruciating violin playing as Herr Flick (people say he can play for real, but it was very convincing), Rosemary’s excruciating rendition of “Coquette” as Edith, more naff than Piaf (again assuming good acting) and new blood Bob’s Effeminate mincing as Gruber, more Hey Ho than Heil Hitler (definitely acting). 

Much blocking, cheating and topping took place, these apparently are age old stage directions, “ston’ there”, “doon a bit” or “shift it pal” would suffice, but we are actors…

Another thing stressed was that the script for AA is naturally funny, so we have to bask (or Basque in Herr Flicks case, more on that another time) in our entrances and not to over egg the funnies. As always we had our standard equity tea break with lashings of tea and enough cake to soak up the River Clyde, the more outdoorsy types ventured out for a breath of fresh air and 2 Benson and Hedges.

Next rehearsal is Wednesday 7th January and we hope to provide some pictures here of work in progress or cast without out their rags and slap on (another theatrical term, I’ll break you in gently to them). 

Although the parts are cast for this production a lot of hard work goes on backstage by the committee and props, costume, promo and sound and lighting people, so we are always looking for new members and future cast members. Contact us by email for details or to go on our mailing list. 

Regards 

One of the gang

 

 

It is I, Leclerc!

But who are the others? Is that really a jovial, grizzled Breton fisherman or is it the lighting engineer?

And maybe that Johnny onion seller is really General Von Schmelling disguised for an undercover secret mission.

We shall see! Keep surfing for more secrets in "Letters from Leclerc."

 

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Home Auditions Forum Harlequin Try Anything Twice Good Things Third week in August It Runs in the Family November 2005 Family Planning Murdered to Death 'Allo 'Allo 'Allo 'Allo the party Letters from Leclerc Autumn Tour Prisoner of 2nd. Ave Gaslight Past memories History The Steamie One Act Plays An Inspector Calls No Dinner for Sinners